BOOK REVIEW

Finding Your Way in a Wild New World: Reclaiming Your True Nature 

by Martha Beck

New Release December 27, 2011

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear” is a truth that will manifest itself over and over as this exciting new book is read and shared and read again.  The number of markers and underlines and margin notes in my preview copy are testaments to the fact I was ready. I devoured it and now am going back to start practicing the many exercises. The book’s purpose is to help you more clearly identify “what you should be doing with your one wild and precious life.”

The author, Martha Beck, has outstanding educational and life experience credentials for writing this book. It is both a sharing of her own life journey as well as a manifesto for anyone ready to embrace their own best life. With a B.A. in East Asian Studies and master’s and Ph.D. degrees in sociology from Harvard University, Beck is a trained observer and analyst. Her coaching specialty is helping people design satisfying and meaningful life experiences. She first got on my radar screen as a columnist for Oprah Magazine, where I am regularly impressed with her no-nonsense, delightfully humorous approach to issues about life’s questions, fears, and psychological roadblocks.

I recently read Beck’s bestselling book Expecting Adam, the story of her 1987-88 pregnancy and giving birth to a Downs syndrome child (new edition in 2011). Its subtitle is “A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic.” The unabashed revelation of her own fears, neuroses, and personal/professional challenges at the time was both heart-wrenching and inspiring. Martha has known and overcome tragedy, sadness, and self-limiting thoughts. She is an excellent guide for empowering others to overcome their own life issues. Finding Your Way in a Wild New World is her ultimate guidebook, the best of her teaching and philosophy in one zinger of a book.

Finding Your Way in a Wild New World is not going to resonate with everyone. Some will dismiss it as just another pop cultural self-help book. Others will use terms like “woo-woo” and “New Age nonsense.” They’d be selling it short. I am a devout Christian with an insatiable curiosity and open mind about spirituality and human potential. This book was filled with research-based findings on the power of our connectedness with each other and with all living things in nature (flora and fauna), and I believe people of any faith will find it enriches, rather than contradicts, their core beliefs.

Beck includes many practical exercises for each section of her book, all designed to exercise the parts of our brain that we don’t use enough, to train ourselves to focus our attention, and to tap into the energy that is mostly likely to allow us to find and cultivate our own best selves. They’re designed to get us out of our mental ruts!

Here are some hints that this book might be perfect for you right now:

• If you feel a yearning that you can’t identify or suppress.
• If you feel the need for clarity and purpose in your life.
• If you’re afraid to do things that you think you’d love to do.
• If wild success and abysmal failure both scare you.
• If you feel fragmented with no clear focus in your life.
• If your wild fantasies seem impossible but won’t let you go.
• If you feel you’re about to explode with possibilities and potential but can’t grab on to that one thing that feels just right.
• If you suspect your self-talk is holding you back.
• If you feel like you’re bumping your head against one obstacle after another but you’re certain there’s something better on the other side.
• If you feel the world is changing so fast you can’t keep up.
• If you feel stuck and unproductive.
• If you feel in need of emotional healing before you can move on to your real purpose of healing others.
• If you desperately want to make a difference with the rest of your life but don’t know what on earth you that might “look like.”

If any one of these rings true, you owe it to yourself to read this book. There is a generous excerpt available for free on Amazon. If it doesn’t grab you by the time you finish reading those pages, either the book is not for you or the timing is not right in your life.

If the timing is right for you, you’ll gain clarity, focus, and powerful tools for living abundantly in the best sense of the word.

Dr. Martha Beck

Connect with Martha Beck on Facebook or Twitter.

What books have helped YOU identify your true calling in life? Please share in the comments below or join the conversation on Heartspoken’s Facebook Page.

Introducing Connection Messenger and Guest Blogger B. Lynn Goodwin: author, caregiver, journal-writer

Note from Elizabeth/Heartspoken: One aspect of the Power of Connection that we haven’t explored is the notion that connections can change, and when they do, the connection tools that we need will change too. This personal story from Lynn Goodwin is one that many of you have—or will—experience. She uses journaling as a way to connect with herself, her feelings, and her situation. I’m grateful for these life lessons.

From Adult Child to Parent’s Caregiver

One Saturday morning in June, I got a call from my mother who said, “The strangest thing just happened. I was standing in the kitchen, and then I was in the dining room, and then I was back in the kitchen, and back in the dining room, and back in the kitchen, but my hand never left the refrigerator door.”

I knew immediately that something was very wrong. My suspicions were confirmed when she added, “Can you come up here?” My mother was a proud, feisty, independent woman. She never asked for help.

“I’m leaving right now,” I said, while I pulled on my pants and searched for a shirt. I grabbed my purse and keys and drove my Geo Prism to my mother’s condo in Rossmoor.

I found her sitting on the white sofa in her breakfast nook. She was still wearing her favorite red robe, and her body leaned slightly to the right.

“Are you all right?” I asked.

“I’m fine as long as I’m sitting here.” Her forced smile was askew. Her body leaned to the right. “I called an ambulance.”

“Good,” I said, though it was anything but good. Responsible maybe, but not good.

She leaned towards me and whispered, “I need to go to the bathroom before the ambulance gets here, but I can’t walk. Do you think I could hold on to you?”

“Of course,” I said, hoping she could not hear my heart thundering in my chest. “Can you stand up?”

She braced herself on the counter next to the sofa, and together we got her up.

“Can I put my hands on your shoulders?” she asked.

I should have thought to suggest it, but I had never helped my mother walk before. I didn’t know what I was doing. I only knew that I was needed. It was a simultaneously heady and scary feeling.

I didn’t know very much about the power of connection back then. I had never been a wife or mother. I had never even owned a pet. I wanted to help without trespassing on my mother’s independence.

With her hands resting lightly on my shoulders, I guided her through the kitchen, across the living room, into the hall, and onto the toilet. I expected her to lurch and fall, but she never even gripped me tightly. I wasn’t sure I was helping. I couldn’t figure out my role….or hers. I did not realize that our connection was changing, and I was moving into the parental role. I wasn’t even sure I was needed.

That puzzling walk, in which my old role as daughter fell off and the role of caregiver began to slip on, became a metaphor for our new relationship, which lasted over six years. My task was to lead her so gently that she did not realize she was being led.

I had just been laid off from my job at Ohlone College. I’d planned to train for a career writing computer programs, but first I had to take care of my mother’s needs. I believed they were temporary. So did she.

Even after carotid artery surgery that summer, my mother insisted she did not need a caregiver. She was fine to live alone, as long as I came by every day, took out her garbage, drove her to her appointments, did her grocery shopping, picked up her mail….

Aging and caregiving sneaked up on us insidiously. She had needs. There was no one at home waiting for me, and I twisted my thinking until I believed she was doing me a favor when she begged me not to get a job because she needed me.

Journaling: Connection and Self-Care Tool

I didn’t have anyone to talk to about my resentments, so I turned to my journal. It let me vent, process, analyze, and find hope. It showed me the bigger picture. It helped me see what was beyond my control and see my mother and me in a new light.

I wish I had known that my mother had Alzheimer’s. It would have explained her inability to use the new microwave. It would have explained why her legs didn’t receive the messages her brain sent. It would have explained her endless grasping for the word “nectarine,” which she called an apple with a tiny core.

Eventually my journaling helped me understand that I was an adult daughter doing the best she could against insurmountable odds. As I continued to journal after her death, I accepted my choices. Journaling provided a record. It was my place to reflect, discover, and forge a new connection with myself as well as my mother. Journaling was my own, private, gift to myself.

If you are a caregiver, it’s okay to ask for help. It’s important to acknowledge that you have needs. If you take care of yourself first, you’ll have the strength and energy to be a gracious caregiver for your loved one. Journaling can help you care for yourself.

I could make my mother comfortable, run her errands, and help her out, but I could not stop the undiagnosed disease that was taking over her mind. After she was gone, journaling helped me see that I set unreasonable goals. It helped me forge a better connection with myself.

When the doctor insisted she move to assisted living with five other aging people whose offspring didn’t check in daily or weekly, she realized how devoted I was. She began thanking me repeatedly. We forged a deeper connection. I am grateful that she trusted me enough to put her care in my hands, and I am grateful for the insights I’ve gotten from journaling.

Has journaling ever been a helpful tool for you? We’d love to hear your comments below or join the conversation on Heartspoken’s Facebook Page.

B. Lynn Goodwin is the author of You Want Me To Do What? – Journaling for Caregivers (Tate Publishing). Her stories and articles have been published many places including Voices of Caregivers; Hip Mama; the Oakland Tribune; the Contra Costa Times; the Danville Weekly; Staying Sane When You’re Dieting; Small Press Review; Dramatics Magazine; Career; We Care; and The Sun.

A former teacher, she’s conducted workshops and written reviews for Story Circle Network. She also writes for StudySync, and Caregiver Village. She facilitates writing workshops and publishes Writer Advice.

“Is what you’re holding onto holding you back?”

Introducing Connection Messenger Debbie Bowie, Certified Professional Organizer®

It was my remarkable good fortune, while attending my 40th college reunion at Randolph College in Lynchburg, VA  (formerly Randolph-Macon Woman’s College), to sit in on a lecture by fellow alumna Debbie Bowie entitled, “Using Feng Shui to Clear Your Clutter and Create Prosperity.”  The appeal of her topic was demonstrated by the packed room of both men and women. I imagine I was not the only person in the room who felt she was speaking directly to them.

The high points of her message — and the message in her excellent little book called Rock Scissors Paper: Understanding How Environment Affects Your Performance on a Daily Basis – were these:

• Everything has energy (chi), positive or negative.
• Energy talks to you.
• Everything is connected (so any small part of your life in disorder can disrupt other parts of your life).
• Like attracts like (so if you surround yourself with broken, ugly, or negative things, you’ll attract more of these into your life).
• You should surround yourself only with things that you love or that you use: “Love it, Use it, or Lose it!”
• Her definition of clutter is “chaos in physical form” and she suggests that it is a manifestation of stress – certainly it can cause stress.
• She quoted Barbara Hemphill who said, “Clutter is postponed decisions.”
• Feng Shui (Feng – “wind” and Shui = “water”), in its simplest form, is the practice of learning to balance energies of a space to assure the health and good fortune of those inhabiting that space.

Perhaps the most powerful testimony to the impact of Debbie’s presentation is what happened when I got home. I sat quietly in my home office — the space where I was finding myself more and more unhappy — yet a space I need to do my work. I thought for awhile about what was absolutely necessary or absolutely treasured in that space. Then, I went on a rampage. I proceeded to rearrange and purge, removing the things I had piled in front of the windows that blocked the light, getting rid of anything that wasn’t being used or enjoyed. I took boxes to our local thrift shop and my sweet husband hauled nine black lawn and leaf bags to the dump. I brought in plants that reminded me of special people and places and found that bringing Nature into my workspace brought me calm and joy. I removed an old, faded rug and brought in a smaller one with colors that I found energizing and appealing.

Now when I enter my office, I find it welcoming and attractive. I am more productive and inspired while I’m here. I no longer feel the need to drag my laptop to another part of the house to avoid the messiness of my old office. The result is that there is less of my work scattered throughout the house, and when I leave the office, I can relax more in other parts of the house, because I have left my work behind. I’ve got a whole new room without paying either a remodeler or a decorator!

I have been so impressed with the results of Debbie’s message that I’ve invited her to become a Heartspoken Connection Messenger, and she has graciously contributed a guest post this week. Her teaching offers ways to strengthen two essential life connections: Connection with Self and Connection with Nature. Implementing her ideas will be a productive excavation towards finding what most makes your heart sing. She espouses connecting with Nature as an important part of creating healthy, happy spaces.

As you’re doing your own decluttering, remember that clutter can be both physical and psychological. Make a clean sweep of those things that separate you from your best self — those things that block your creativity and your happiness. Please share your successes and tips that you learn along the way.

Happy housecleaning!

Debbie Bowie is a veteran speaker, Certified Professional Organizer®, feng shui practitioner and author of Rock Scissors Paper: Understanding How Environment Affects Your Performance on a Daily Basis. She is the owner of the Rock Scissors Paper Institute, formerly Simply Organized, a company she formed in 1998. Debbie practices feng shui organizing, an approach to organizing that combines organizing principles with the wisdom of feng shui to help clients clear a path to getting more of what they really want from life. I recommend buying her book and, if you live in the Richmond, Virginia, area, you can retain her for consulting or to speak at your next event. 

The following is a guest blog post by Connection Messenger Debbie Bowie, a professional organizer and feng shui practitioner whose lecture and book have helped me completely revamp my home office space from one I hated to enter into one that is warm, inviting, less cluttered, and productive. I’ve written in greater detail HERE about how the principles she teaches helped me strengthen my connection with both Nature and with my own best self.

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A simple formula for stress reduction is to add Nature and reduce paper. Spend more time outside, weather permitting, or bring more elements of nature into your home or work space, and you’ll feed yourself with positive energy. By ridding yourself of all paper except that which you absolutely need, and keeping the important papers stored for easy access and retrieval, you will eliminate a major source of stress in your life.

A friend of mine commented that she had not expected to find that I had so much stuff in my house. That really alarmed me, because I work very hard to keep my home clutter-free, organized and feeling good. As I usually do when I receive a negative comment, I checked out the space, trying to see it through the eyes of a guest. Upon inspection I realized because I live in a small space, it is easier to be more acutely aware of everything in the space. I also have many high energy things: live plants, silk plants, pictures of plants, rocks and shells, a bubbling fountain. Nature is everywhere! I had unconsciously created a garden, with all the busyness of a garden.  I didn’t set out to create a garden.  I just kept bringing in things that I loved, that felt right in the space.  I created a space that is a nurturing retreat, away from the stress of the rest of the world.

What you will also find in my home is that paper only resides in three locations:  the kitchen counter, my office and my husband’s office.  I keep the quantities of paper down to a minimum in all three areas with paper going out every day.  I know if I am pitching paper I am reducing stress and empowering myself.  I am winning the war against paper.

Reduce stress and empower yourself today by pitching as much paper as you can (don’t worry, they don’t put you in jail for not having a piece of paper you might need!), and either spending time in nature or bringing nature into your home.  By the way, if you can’t keep plants alive, photographs and prints of nature and silk plants work well too!

Debbie Bowie

About Debbie:

Is what you’re holding onto holding you back? That is the mantra of Debbie Bowie, veteran speaker, Certified Professional Organizer®, feng shui practitioner and author of Rock Scissors Paper: Understanding How Environment Affects Your Performance on a Daily Basis. She is the owner of the Rock Scissors Paper Institute, formerly Simply Organized, a company she formed in 1998. Debbie practices feng shui organizing, an approach to organizing that combines organizing principles with the wisdom of feng shui to help clients clear a path to getting more of what they really want from life.

Blog photo credit: “Calm and Relaxation 2″ by Jamie Brelsford via stock.xchng, Cheshire, United Kingdom (www.bannerprintingandroid.co.uk)

Most of us are kind to others most of the time. Most of us will go out of our way to be kind to animals, children, and friends in need…maybe even strangers in need. I don’t know about you, but I have a bad habit of putting everything and everyone else first and forgetting that as a steward of my own life, I have an obligation to be as kind to myself as I am to others. Why does this seem so hard? Why does our culture — as self-indulgent as it is — make caring for ourselves seem selfish?

A fabulous post called “I believe…” by Connection Messenger Cyndi Briggs on her blog this morning smacked me right between the eyes, and if you need to hear this, I hope it smacks you where you need it too:

There is no greater relationship than the one you have with yourself, and I believe in cultivating that relationship daily. I believe self-nurturance and compassion for self are fundamental to a well society and not just some namby-pamby prettytalk. Compassion is strength in action, and kindness takes a whole lot more courage than violence. I’m committed to treating myself in a loving manner, trusting my instincts, honoring my intuition, and protecting myself from people who choose to be toxic. I will live this way for the rest of my life.

You tell it, Sister!

If you’re finding it difficult to nurture yourself, remember what they tell you every time you hear the safety instructions on an airplane: “In case of a loss in cabin pressure, the oxygen masks will drop down. You should secure your own first before assisting children or other persons.” We can’t be effective at helping others unless we take care of ourselves, and what is this if not an important form of kindness?

So what might kindness to ourselves LOOK like? As with any important connection, Connection with Self starts with paying attention. Pay attention to how you feel, how you look, and what your own “still small voice” is telling you about things and people you encounter in your day-to-day life. Pay attention to fatigue and hunger and thirst — both physical and spiritual. And here’s the hard one…take the time to pamper yourself on more than an occasional basis. It’s okay to soak in the tub and read a book. It’s okay to take a walk in a peaceful place. It’s okay to PLAY! Sure, there are a million things waiting to be done when you return, but you’ll be recharged and able to do them more effectively and efficiently.

And yes, this sermon is as much for myself as it is for you, dear reader. How can you be more kind to yourself this week? Please share your own self-kindness tips in the Comments below!

Photo credit: Gene Chutka – Photographer in El Dorado Hills, CA – courtesy of iStockPhoto - Business Website: www.grcvisuals.com

I hate Bradford Pear trees. Hate them.

It’s not because they’re trees. Trees in general, I like. As a whole, nature is my friend.

My dislike of the poor Bradford Pear has to do with the human tinkering that brought it to so many suburban lawns in the mid 1990s. Dubbed the “perfect tree,” Bradford Pears were planted in droves throughout the Southeast, their human-influenced perfectly round shape rising like mushroom clouds above over-fertilized lawns.

And then spring came and the trees bloomed and we all learned in one horrifying moment that those beautiful white blossoms smell not like cherries but like feet. Stinky feet. Stinky, fungus-y, unwashed feet.

And then winter came and the ice storms and these perfect little trees proved utterly fragile, weakened by over-breeding, cracking like glass beneath wind and weather. Bradford Pear trees lay in tidy little ruins all over suburban lawns.

This is what happens to a living being that was just fine on its own before we showed up to improve it.

And so I come to my point: As I turn 39, I am officially declaring myself done with self-improvement. It has finally occurred to me that I am totally, utterly, completely whole and fine just as I am. And I need to stop tinkering with my self, or like the Bradford Pear, I might end up with blossoms that stink like feet.

What’s ironic is that for years, I’ve worked as a counselor and counselor educator. My whole business is built around helping people “improve” themselves. I have a gold mine of tips and tricks for changing thoughts, behaviors, and feelings at my beck and call, tiny adjustments meant to create better people. I have spent much of my life engaged in introspection and focused on “self-improvement”. I’ve bought books, sought counseling, gone on vision quests, all in the interest of improving myself, eliminating my flaws, and in the vain hope of finally, finally achieving perfection.

The idea of “improvement” is based on the notion that the status quo is unacceptable. Improvement implies some vague and external goal to be reached, a line to be crossed. Generally, when we strike out on a mission of self improvement, we have no true idea of what we want to become. We simply know we feel empty, confused, or unhappy, and we want to dash like mad from that condition to something better, less painful, less confusing.

When we decide to improve ourselves, we’re typically reacting to messages old and unconscious, messages from our childhood or adolescence informing us that we’re not “normal” or OK. The part of ourselves we try to wrestle into submission during bouts of self improvement doesn’t want to fit into a tidy mold of our imagining. Rather, as we struggle in the mud with whatever part of ourselves we find lacking, our true, wild, honest being sits off to the side with a small smile on her face, wondering what all the fuss is about, waiting for the fight to be over.

Self improvement is really saying, “Make me perfect so I can finally love myself and others will love me too.” It’s a crazy quest for wholeness from a fragmented world. It’s trying to have a logical conversation with the schizophrenic voices in our heads. The paradox is true love only comes with self-acceptance; thus we must learn to love ourselves, flaws and all, before transformation can ever begin.

The longer I do this work as a counselor, the more I firmly believe that the goal of counseling is not to change anyone, but to help each person see that she is, essentially, absolutely fine and whole and perfect just as she is. I think life genuinely begins to change for the better when we release the need to improve, and instead come to that grounded, quiet, sacred space where we can fully accept our authentic selves and in that stillness, allow it to speak.

Self improvement requires us to examine ourselves through the eyes of the world. Accepting our authenticity, in contrast, means seeing ourselves through the eyes of the compassionate divine, seeing our glorious, flawed beauty with all the love the universe holds for us, each one.

Understanding the true nature of wholeness floods into our awareness the minute, the very second, we choose to see ourselves through the eyes of that divine intelligence.

So today, I hope you’ll declare your own independence from self improvement. You are not a project. You are not a Bradford Pear tree. You are not broken. You are whole and complete and real and stunning and flawed and perfect.

You are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived.

* * * * * * *

Today’s guest blogger is Heartspoken Connection Messenger, Cyndi Briggs, a talented young woman living and working in Winston-Salem and author of The Sophia Project. She has generously given me permission to share her posts when they seem especially appropriate for Heartspoken readers.

Please leave us a Comment below. What have you been thinking about yourself had to be fixed? Try telling yourself, just for a moment, to say to yourself, “I’m perfect just the way I am.” This post made me scramble to throw away some of those Self Help books I thought I ought to read.  EHC

Permalink to this post: http://www.heartspoken.com/2011/04/why-ive-given-…-so-should-you/

Cynthia Briggs, The Sophia Project

Introducing Connection Messenger, Cyndi Briggs.

I just love to find women who not only have a vision, but who do whatever it takes to clear the deck of their life to pursue it. I’ve just discovered North Carolina writer Cyndi Biggs, and in just a few weeks, she has written some articles that have just blown me away with their insight and straight-shooting messages. One of them will be posted here as a guest article. I consider her a Connection Messenger, because I believe she has a real gift for helping others — especially women — make that essential connection with themselves, their gifts, and their dreams.

I found Cyndi’s writings on her blog, The Sophia Project. “The singular purpose of The Sophia Project is to liberate every woman on earth to follow her dreams, trust her inner wisdom and become the divine creature she was born to be.” Okay, so I read that and thought, That’s a bit ambitious, isn’t it? But once I started reading, I was hooked, and I’m quite sure she’s already helped me bring a bit more of my inner goddess out of hiding .  Cyndi has graciously given me permission to share her posts here on Heartspoken from time to time.

Cyndi describes herself as “teacher, writer, and activist.” At two universities, she teaches counseling, including group process, microskills, and introduction to the profession. She also teaches addictions related courses including diagnosis and treatment planning and psychopharmacology of addiction. Her true passion is women’s issues, and she’s co-authoring a supplemental text about women, girls, and addiction with a colleague from MSU-Mankato. She’s published in the areas of professional development and mentorship, grief counseling and bibliotherapy, addictions counseling, and group counseling. She has presented regionally and nationally in these areas as well.

Even more fascinating — and courageous — is how she started her blog and became so interested in the issues it covers. Read it here in her own words.

So enjoy Cyndi’s writing and teaching, and let her take you by the hand and lead you to a stronger connection with the real you.

Cyndi Briggs, The Sophia Project

Introducing Nature Connection Messenger/Artist: Jackie Catteron

Jackie Catterton, Watercolorist

Sometimes you come across a work of art that is so full of light and warmth and beauty that you just wish you could meet the artist. That happened to me last year when I bought some beautiful notecards featuring birds and flowers and country scenes that just…well, they just made me happy!

When you’re a notewriting evangelist like I am, unique and quality stationery is important, so on a whim, I decided to contact the artist of these beautiful notes and see if she had any interest in letting me sell them on my Heartspoken website.

Jackie Catterton turned out to be as lovely a human being as she is a talented artist, and imagine my surprise and delight when we met for the first time and realized very quickly that we were kindred spirits too! Jackie is a deeply committed Christian, and she loves nothing more than sharing her faith and joy from life with others. In fact, she has spent much of her professional life serving others too, first as a teacher, then as a certified nursing assistant, and later as an Activities Director certified by the Virginia Association for Activities Professionals (VAAP).

Fortunately for us, Jackie felt inspired since her retirement in the Shenandoah Valley and decided to develop her natural artistic talent by capturing the beauty she sees in God’s creation all around her in her amazing watercolors. “If my work can bless someone in any way, then that is what motivates me,” says Jackie.

I consider Jackie a Connection Messenger for at least two reasons. By having the courage to connect with her own inner gifts and talents, Jackie inspires others to do the same. Age is irrelevant when it comes to letting your light shine! Jackie’s artwork also connects us to God’s creation and the beauty of Nature. I find myself noticing the way light plays on a flower or tree or bird and appreciating it all the more because of thinking how Jackie would capture it in one of her vibrant watercolors.

I am grateful not only for Jackie’s gift with light and color, but I am grateful for her kindness and friendship. Many times, she has sent me an encouraging email or a Scripture quote just when I needed it. Now that I appreciate Jackie’s inner beauty, I get even more pleasure out of using her beautiful cards. Here are two below,  but be sure to visit the Heartspoken Gifts pages to see more of Jackie’s creations.

Floral Bouquet and Specimen Notecards

Bird and Country Landscape Notecards

Forget Me Nots by Jackie Catterton

In His Light by Jackie Catterton

Introducing Connection Messenger: Mimi Meredith

Sometimes finding our authentic selves is way more about letting things go than it is about taking new things on. I have a lifelong habit of constantly taking on so many things that sometimes I find my life totally out of balance, and then I can’t possibly do a good job with any of them. More troublesome is the way busy-ness can be a distraction that keeps me from developing those talents, skills, and passions that are the most critical to being my truest authentic self. Sadly, no one can tell me this, even with the best of intentions. Just ask my husband, because he’s tried!   I have to run smack up against a wall and then face the facts: something’s got to give.

I have found it comforting and inspiring to talk to other smart, creative women about this tension in their own lives. I was fortunate to discover Mimi Meredith in the last year. Mimi is a motivational speaker and relationship consultant, and we have become friends (we suspect we were twins in another life!) through my comments on the Bloomin’ Blog at her Goodness Grows website.

On New Year’s Day, Mimi’s blog post really spoke to me about the value of cultivating what I have rather than adding more.  “This year, instead of resolving to do something new or to change something that seems unfavorable, I’d like to challenge us to look at what we are that is good and make it great.”

I agree. It’s all too easy to spend time chasing things “out there” that we think we need to do, be, or achieve. Sometimes we just need to stop, take stock, and listen for that “still small voice” that affirms exactly where we are and guides us on ways to be our best self. Elizabeth, are you listening?