It’s “Connect with God” Week here at Heartspoken.

The third week of each month this year will focus on ways to strengthen your connection with God. Please don’t get hung up if “God” is not your preferred word for your Higher Power. I will use “God,” but you may be more comfortable with one of the many terms used in different faiths. I believe Truth (with a capital T) transcends the borders we impose, and I beg you to open your heart and mind to Truth, whatever its source.

The seasons of nature are often reflected in the seasons of our lives and the seasons of our soul. All the spiritual giants I’ve known, personally or by reading about them, have had periods in their spiritual lives during which they felt very distant from any relationship with God. These are often called dry spells or desert times, and they can be accompanied by feelings of abandonment, despair, and confusion.

It’s not just you.

Inspirational Christian author Catherine Marshall wrote a moving account of her spiritual struggle in Beyond Ourselves. Moses, Elijah, Jesus and Paul all had their own desert periods too. If you practice any kind of a spiritual tradition, you know the rare “mountaintop” experience is offset by periods of spiritual winter in which our hearts can feel frozen and hard. We wonder where God is and why we no longer feel his love.

I have had these times myself. Some of the most dangerous (in terms of damaging my faith) have not been so much feeling abandoned as feeling indifferent. The chinks in my faith armor have been chipped away to reveal holes where doubt and fear could seep in. Always, always, I have found my way back to God (or have allowed myself to be re-found by God) and rejoiced in the reunion, but it’s not a comfortable place to be.

Perspective and preparation are critical.

If you are experiencing spiritual winter now, remember this is a natural cycle and will not last forever. Don’t despair and don’t give up on yourself or God!

Even if you’re not experiencing it now, prepare yourself. M. Scott Peck, in The Road Less Traveled, described the person who walks into the ocean without thought and is unexpectedly knocked over by a wave, emerging scraped and bruised from the underwater tumble. The savvy swimmer, however, anticipates the wave and dives straight into it, passing smoothly under it and up on the other side. When we expect the spiritual winters, they can feel less devastating than they might otherwise.

Like the devoted gardener who stays busy in the winter making preparations for the spring, we must tend our spiritual winters as best we can. I’ve researched some ways to warm yourself during these times. Like the bulb hibernating in the dark, cold earth, or the maple tree whose sap is stored in the trunk and roots during the winter, you’ll stay nurtured and ready for spring when the sun yields more heat and the sap starts to rise.

Survival tactics during a spiritual winter

• Lean into it instead of resisting it. In Beyond Ourselves, Catherine Marshall tells of months during the illness of a beloved grandchild when she felt totally abandoned by God. She ranted and cried in her prayers until she was exhausted. Finally, unable to maintain any semblance of control over the situation, she prayed what she called the Prayer of Relinquishment in which she abandoned herself to God’s eternal care and love, giving up all control over the outcome. Being the control freaks many of us are (okay, I’ll speak for myself), this is not easy, but it often gets ourselves out of the way so God can work.

Eckhart Tolle, German-born counselor and spiritual teacher, reminds us, “Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? …Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”

• Consider this might be a time of preparation. Moses, Elijah, Jesus, and Paul all went through a desert time, which turned out to be a proving ground of strength and fine-tuning. They emerged from their desert experiences with a burst of spiritual energy and accomplishment. “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1: 6-7).

• Take care of yourself physically. When I experience feelings of depression or low spiritual energy, I sometimes realize I’ve been burning the candle at both ends. It’s not a spiritual winter; I’m simply exhausted. Get rest. Eat a healthy diet. Seek balance in your life.

• Confide in a trusted friend. “Shared joy is double joy and shared sorrow is half-sorrow” (Swedish Proverb). Sometimes it simply helps to let things out, especially when the other person might be able to encourage you to “hang in there” and not despair.

• Check in with your conscience. If you have been living out of synch with your core values, you could feel a distance from God. This is self-imposed. Confess. Do what you can to make it right. Ask God to reveal to you what you need to do or let go. God loves you and wants nothing more than for you to be enfolded in his everlasting arms.

• Work on your mindset. Instead of thinking God is absent, believe God is currently not visible. Remember the sun is still shining above the rain clouds, even when you can’t see it.

• Count your blessings. Scripture reminds us to give thanks in all things (not for all things but in all things). There is something powerful about the exercise of practicing gratitude that lifts the spirit and wards off despair.

• Be patient and resolve to wait on God. “…those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:31).

• Stay alert for signs of love and comfort from God. The Israelites thought God had abandoned them in the desert, yet there was a pillar of fire by night, a pillar of cloud by day, and manna every day. How dense could they be? Where did they think these miracles came from? Sometimes we feel so sorry for ourselves we fail to notice God’s love, often poured through the actions of others.

• Nourish your soul…even if you don’t feel like it. Don’t give up on your spiritual practices. Pray, even if your prayers feel empty. And yes, it’s okay to be honest with God if you’re angry, bereft, or frustrated. As David wrote in Psalm 38, verse 9: “All my longings lie open before you, oh Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.”

Read devotional literature, even if you’re not in the mood. Hannah Whitall Smith, in her classic The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life, reminded readers we have God’s word through Scripture to give us guidance. It might take longer to get the message if you’re skipping your Bible reading and holding out for a voice from a burning bush.

• Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. When you’re in the midst of a spiritual winter, it can seem as though God is working in everyone’s life but yours. This is simply a delusion.

• Be kind to yourself, especially if you’re going through a life change or hard time. Most of us are quick to berate ourselves for things out of our control. Accept help from others if it’s offered.

Hymn writer Natalie Allyn Wakeley Sleeth (1930-1992) must have known the pain of a spiritual winter when she wrote Hymn of Praise (Copyright Hope Publishing Company):

Below are some resources and further scripture readings to help someone cope when they’re going through a spiritual winter. What books, practices, or resources have helped you strengthen your connection with God when you’ve felt disconnected? Please share in the comments below or join the conversation at Heartspoken’s Facebook Page.

Resources

Bible Gateway website

Bible Verses of Encouragement from Bible-Knowledge.com: 79 selected verses all telling you to never give up, to keep pressing on, and to fully rely on the Lord and his guidance to get you through the trial and into your next level of service with him.

Cybernation.com Quotation Center website

Fulwiler, Jennifer. “9 Tips for Spiritual Dry Spells.” A blog post from Conversion diary website, July, 2009.

Glanville, Dr. Gary R. “Spiritual Dryness.” A sermon from the website of Romeo United Methodist Church, Romeo, Michigan, January, 2009.

Loughman, Peter. “Hard Times – Better than Evian Water.”  A sermon from SermonCentral.com, April, 2008.

Tada, Joni Eareckson. “Let Down Your Net: Spiritual Refreshment for Pastors.” A sermon from SermonCentral.com, 2007.

Photo credit: “Alone” by Patrice Dufour, Vancouver, Canada, via StockXchng.

You have to pick up the phone!

Whatever your name for a higher power — God, Source, Spirit, Universe — that power cannot connect with you if you don’t pick up the phone! But what on earth does “picking up the phone” actually look like in the development of our spiritual life?

The answer is far beyond the scope of a blog post…books and papers have been written about prayer by theologians far more advanced spiritually than I am…but I’ve recently come across a very helpful article called “Ten Ways to Pray” put out by Forward Movement Publications, an agency of the Episcopal Church devoted to “creating compelling content for Christian living.” Since the introduction says to “feel free to share this with friends, family, or anyone you feel could benefit by its content,” I am pleased to do so. Please note the authors are not trying to say these are the only ways to pray, but rather that these are ways they know to be useful to many people.

The importance of talking to God — and that’s my definition of prayer — is the same as the importance of talking to anyone whom you love, care about, or want to get to know better. It enriches life, clarifies understanding, increases empathy, and enables a conduit for give-and-take that is simply not possible when the connection is broken. If you want to connect with your higher power, you have to make yourself available, just as you do in any meaningful relationship.

Ten Ways to Pray

Each of these ten ways to pray is described and discussed in the article:

1. Praying with Scripture
2. The Daily Office (found in The Book of Common Prayer)
3. The Rosary
4. Journaling
5. Centering Prayer
6. Body Prayer
7. Singing
8. Praying with icons
9. The Jesus Prayer
10. Prayer groups and prayer partners

I’ve used several of these ways, and I intend to try others. I’m experimenting right now with Journaling Prayer and finding it fascinating and helpful. I’ll write more about that later.

There’s no one right way to pray!

Please grasp this message. It’s easy to get hung up on worrying about whether you’re “doing it right” instead of just doing it! And don’t be afraid to change the way you pray as your own spiritual life develops and as you mature. Remember that “the purpose of prayer is to open ourselves to God so that God may bring us and the world into harmony with his purposes.”

Be honest when you talk to God

Another misconception is that we can’t be angry or frustrated or anything but pious when we talk to God. Hogwash! The Psalms are loaded with prayers to God that are nothing short of rants and ravings. They include feelings of rage, jealousy, hurt, anger, desire for revenge, and so much more. These are a rich source of real prayers by real people, and when you can’t find your own words, just borrow the words of others. God doesn’t care, as long as you’re being real and honest. God can handle anything we dish out.

Please share in the comments below your own thoughts about prayer and ways to pray, books, blogs, or speakers that have been meaningful to you.

Additional Prayer Resources

Photo credit: “Its for you!” by Vicki S., U.K., Great Britain via Stock.xchng

BOOK REVIEW:

Grace Notes: Daily Readings with a Fellow Pilgrim by Philip Yancey

I found this daily devotional very satisfying and inspiring…reminiscent of Frederick Buechner’s work. It consists of excerpts from Yancey’s other writings, some of which I had already read…some others, I’ve added to my To Read list.

To me, the strength of this book–as in most of Yancey’s writing–is its honesty about doubts, fears, questions, and how religion plays out in a real life. I found it to be clear and powerful as he shared his ways of dealing with doubt, faith, temptation, and hypocrisy:

“In my spiritual journey as well as in my writing career I have long lingered in the margins, pondering unanswerable questions about the problem of pain, the conundrums of prayer, providence versus free will, and other such matters. When I do so, everything becomes fuzzy. Looking at Jesus, however, restores clarity.”

“…Satan’s power is external and coercive. God’s power, in contrast, is internal and noncoercive…God became weak for one purpose: to let human beings choose freely for themselves what to do with him.”

“…only love can summon a response of love, which is the one ting God wants from us…Love has its own power, the only power ultimately capable of conquering the human heart.”

“But we dare not make sweeping claims about the promise of God’s intimate presence unless we take into account those times when God seems absent. The great saints encountered it, Job encountered it, and at some point nearly everyone must face the fact of God’s hiddenness.”

Yancy states, “I have cast my lot with a gospel based on grace.” Yet even in this statement, Yancey acknowledges the danger of falling into the trap of doing whatever we want because we’ve already been forgiven. “An individualistic society America is in constant danger of freedom abuse; its churches are in danger of grace abuse.”
If you have trouble setting aside quiet time for God, using a daily devotional may be a good place to start since it’s a small time commitment that can reap great rewards.  A devotional of this sort is, by its very nature, just bits and pieces of wisdom and inspiration, but it touches on the core issues that a Christian faces in life, and it offers insight into ways that a seeker can strengthen his/her connection with God. This starts…and ends…by intentionally drawing near to a God who, Yancey believes, yearns for us as much as we yearn for Him.

Do you have a regular practice or routine that helps strengthen your connection with God? Please share as a comment.

CLICK HERE to order this book from Amazon.

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Book Review:

Indelible Ink: 22 Prominent Christian Leaders Discuss Books That Shape Their Faith edited by Scott Larsen with foreword by Philip Yancey

I thoroughly enjoyed this book…and for different reasons than I expected. I ordered it because the foreword is by one of my favorite Christian authors, Philip Yancey, and because the title and premise (ask several well known Christian writers what books have most influenced them other than the Bible) were appealing. I expected to mostly get some ideas for a few more spiritual books to read.

When I actually opened and perused the book, I was concerned. The authors tended to be more of the fundamentalist persuasion than I usually prefer, so I was afraid that their recommendations might not be as meaningful or helpful to me. Two big surprises:

1) With a couple of exceptions, their writing about reading (all kinds of reading) was delightful and compelling to someone like me who is an avid reader and who enjoys reading about others who also appreciate the value of a rich reading life. Some of the authors wrote so beautifully and eloquently about the books they were sharing that I felt I had extracted enough value out of their descriptions that I didn’t need to go and read the book they were discussing.

2) Many of the books that impacted these authors were not what I would call Christian or even primarily spiritual. These included works of Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Shusaku Endo, Alexander Dumas, and Annie Dillard. Calvin Miller’s essay was particularly delightful in expressing his joy of reading: “Why am I so narcolibric (a word of my contriving, meaning ‘print addicted’)? Because every book I see says to me ‘come hither and I will make you wise.’” Don’t you just know exactly what he means? I do. Walter Wangerin, Jr. also spoke about the importance of choosing books wisely: “Books open our eyes to the complex truths that simple, mindless stories simply have no name for.  So why not pick the best?…That’s the influence of great books; they teach us how to see the world that is.” “A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us.” (Franz Kafka)

Not surprisingly, the works of C.S. Lewis figured prominently in several selections.

It’s very important to remember in a book like this — as was noted by Michael Card in his essay — “For almost as important as the content of the book itself is the timing of the moment when it first comes into your life.” In spite of this, I added quite a few books to my “check it out” list.

I made lots of notes and highlighted many passages:

The editor commented, in his introduction, on the importance of the books we choose to read (much like the importance of the people with whom we choose to associate). Any one book might have a negligible influence, but taken together, they can shape us. “One drop of red paint in a bucket of white will make no perceptible difference; one drop every day for fifty years will result in a bucket of red paint…books shape us, dynamically molding our minds and souls.”

One of the authors who was inspired by Calvin’s teaching, found it helpful to remember the verse from Psalm 119:105: “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path” found that this image (as of a flashlight in the dark) is helpful to think about how we shouldn’t expect to see much ahead of us, but trusting in God’s light will be sufficient for the next step. The dark is the mystery.

Donald G. Bloesch says, “[Kierkegaard, Nygren, and Heiler] have all expanded my spiritual and intellectual horizons and have helped me recognize the way to reach outsiders for the faith is not by apologetic argument, but by sharing the gospel and demonstrating its truth in daily life.”

Donald G. Bloesch again: “I have found in my own theological reflection that the truth of God is not accessible to me unless I am in a right relationship with Jesus Christ. But paradoxically I cannot be rightly related to Christ unless I see myself as a sinner saved only by grace…” “A faith that will renew the church is one that respects mystery even while trying to find meaning within mystery.”

Gary R. Collins reflecting on the book HOPE FOR THE FLOWERS by Trina Paulus about a caterpillar named Stripe who was told by a butterfly that he could fly too, “but only if he would stop striving and become what he was meant to be…Looking back, however, I wonder if I have spent too much of my life climbing and encouraging others to do the same. Climbing won’t accomplish our goal. To get to the top in this world, to have the greatest impact, we need to fly. And according to Stripe, ‘you must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.’”

A lovely description of the Anglican Church by Luci N. Shaw : “…where mystery is sanctioned and celebrated, where the sacraments, and especially the Eucharist, that pointer to the unseen real, brought me into Christ’s real presence, and where incarnational reality–the recognition of God’s fingerprints in human lives and Scripture and the created universe — supplied me, not with watertight proofs, but with a willingness to wait and listen for God, and to leave ultimate answers to him in that realm of mystery.” She says later, “…and what is faith, if not belief that persists in the face of paradox and mystery?”

John R. W. Stott, writing about books by Bishop J. C. Ryle, said, “Bishop Ryle clarified for me the differences between justification and sanctification. One of them is that, although we are justified by faith alone WITHOUT works, we are sanctified by faith AND works. And he showed that whereas justification is a crisis, sanctification is a process, in which there may be many deeper experiences.”

Walter Wangerin, Jr.: “When goodness confronts evil and does not pay evil back with evil, suddenly evil is made so apparent that even the evil one must recognize it.”

Ravi Zacharias: “Modern-day evangelicalism particularly has sacrificed language at the altar of ecstasy.”

Josh McDowell on what he learned from CHANGES THAT HEAL by Dr. Henry Cloud: “It is biblical and honoring to God to set limits on your life — to set boundaries on what you do, how much you help, what you get involved in…I began to give myself permission to say no and still be a loving person.”

Larry Crab: “So often our relationship with God is not abut knowing Him, but using Him. As a psychologist, I have felt for years that most of us in American Christianity use God to solve our problems. In contrast, John of the Cross used his problems to find God…there is much more to the life of a Christian than making life work.” Elsewhere he says, “Sin is not just rule breaking; it is wrongly-directed passion. It’s as if you looked at God and said, ‘Big Deal, I want something else!’”

There were a few places where I put question marks or “No, no, no!” but this book was a treasure of thought-provoking essays from interesting writers, and I’m sure many of the recommended books are treasures too.

What books have made the most difference in YOUR life? Please comment below.

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Book Review:

In the Likeness of God by Dr. Paul Brand and Philip Yancey

I’ve been reading this in small doses for a long time, because there’s so much depth and wisdom here. This particular edition (which I read on my Kindle) was actually a special edition combining two of Brand and Yancey’s co-authored works: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made and In His Image.

Dr. Paul Brand (1914-2003) was a world-renowned hand surgeon, leprosy physician, missionary and humanitarian who caught the attention of — and became mentor to — Christian writer/apologist Philip Yancey. Their relationship in producing this book was best described by Yancey himself: “As a journalist, I gave words to his faith. In exchange, he gave faith to my words.”

I’m sure that it was especially meaningful to me because of having studied human anatomy in grad school. Others might get bogged down in the medical details, but I loved the way Brand brought the physical and spiritual worlds together as he reflected on the amazing human body and related it to the analogy, often used in the Bible, of Christ as the Head of the Body representing the Church. As Yancey reflects, this likeness “derives from their common source.”

Yancey’s respect and affection for Dr. Paul Brand was evident throughout this book: “You need only meet one saint to believe, to silence the noisy arguments of the world, and I had the inestimable privilege of spending leisurely hours getting to know a distinguished and faithful follower of Jesus. For that, Paul Brand, I thank you.”

In this book, Brand moves through the body, from skeleton to skin to heart, reflecting on one miracle of Nature after another in terms of its precision, complexity, and marvelous function. Brand finds inspiration everywhere, along with evidence of a Creator with vision beyond imagining. He finds life and spiritual lessons not only in the normal workings of the body, but also by observing what happens when parts of the body do not work as they should, either because of disease, injury, or malfunction. He was particularly fascinated with leprosy and with the profound implications of a leper’s inability to feel pain in his/her limbs.

“The fact of the body — the worth of each of its parts — is graphically revealed by a disease such as leprosy. The failure of one type of cell can bring on tragic consequences. One who studies the vast quantity of cells and their startling diversity can come away with the sense that each cell is easily expendable and of little consequence. But the same body that impresses us with specialization and diversity also affirms that each of its many members is valuable and often essential for survival. Interestingly, the worth of each member is also the aspect most often stressed in biblical imagery of the Body of Christ.”

One of the things I enjoy about reading on a Kindle is that it’s easy to underline/highlight sections and then go back to review them after I’ve finished the book. The highlighted notes alone are wonderful and inspiring as they weave the threads of Paul Brand’s faith with his celebration of the miracle of the human body. It greatly strengthened my appreciation for my own body and opened up thoughtful ways to connect the physical world around me with the spiritual world that I seek to know better.

Yancey’s wonderful rendering of his mentor’s thoughts also left me wishing more than anything that I could have known Dr. Paul Brand.

What books have YOU read that have deepened your insight or strengthened your connection with Self or God/Source. Please leave a comment below.

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Book Review: Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott

Just reading other reviews of this book took me on an emotional roller coaster–since I agreed with much of the praise as well as the criticism–so you can imagine what reading the book did. Anne Lamott is one of the most gifted writers I’ve known, with a unique voice and unusual blend of vivid intensity, self-deprecating humor, and raw honesty about her own neuroses and judgmental attitudes, swirled around with a “born again” faith and intense willingness to fight for most underdogs. I can’t help but admit to a grudging admiration of this honesty — about herself and about others — at the same time that it often made me wince or cringe. She’s complicated, and if we’re honest with ourselves, so are we.

This book is a compilation of reflections on life, love, and faith. What Anne Lamott does best is allow you to view the world from her eyes and perspective and see ordinary things in different ways. Her power of observation is acute, and she brings you right into an experience or emotion with remarkable intensity. I confess that when I found myself the most offended by something she said, I had to admit that she often tore the scab off to expose raw flaws in myself that hide under the more socially acceptable exterior. We judge people like Anne Lamott at our peril, because we are all a mess, deep down, and her message of God’s unconditional love is so, so important. God loves us, so we must learn to love ourselves. And then, of course, if we’ll just get out of the way and let it happen, God’s love pours through us to others. “Being human can be so dispiriting,” she says. “It is a real stretch for me a lot of the time.”

Here are some things that I highlighted from this book:

“These are the words I want on my gravestone: that I was a helper, and that I danced.”

“A man at church once told me never to give the devil a ride. Because if he likes the ride, pretty soon he’ll want to drive. It felt as if someone determined and famished had taken the wheel.”

“My pastor, Veronica, says that believing isn’t the hard part; waiting on God is.”

“Sometimes I think that Jesus watches my neurotic struggles, and shakes his head, and grips his forehead and starts tossing back mojitos.”

“Joy is the best makeup. Joy, and good lighting. If you ask me, a little lipstick is a close runner-up.”

“Behold! It is an exhortation, not a whiny demand…”

“…And I realized once again that we’re punished not for our hatred, for not forgiving people, but by it.

“…the great Helping Prayer, which goes: ‘Helphelphelphelp. Helphelphelphelp.”

“But I have to believe that Jesus prefers honesty to anything else…I was saying, ‘Here’s who I am,’ and that is where most improvement has to begin.”

“I realized just then that sin and grace are not opposites, but partners, like the genes in DNA, or the stages of childbirth.”

So I finished this book with a lot of conflicting emotions and opinions, because more often than not, living is just doing the best we can and playing the cards we’re dealt. More often than not, it’s really hard. I think Anne Lamott would understand my responsive prayer spoken by Dickens’s character Tiny Tim from A Christmas Carol, “God bless us, every one!”

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this book…or on Faith. Please leave comments below.

Click here to buy this book from Amazon.com.

April Moore, Guest Author

Book Review of Jack Kornfield’s The Wise Heart

You don’t have to be a Buddhist to love The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology. In this truly wise book, clinical psychologist and Buddhist monk Jack Kornfield weaves together real-life stories with spiritual insights to show how to live with greater love, happiness, and equanimity.

The essential teaching of The Wise Heart is mindfulness. Kornfield describes mindfulness as attention, a non-judging and respectful awareness, and he invites us to bring mindfulness to our own thoughts and emotions.

Being mindful of our thoughts means “stepping aside” internally, just slightly, and “watching” our thoughts, rather than being lost in them. The more we observe, the more we realize that a great deal of our thinking is chatter–repetitive, anxious, judgmental, and self-critical. In fact, if our own thoughts were being whispered in our ear by someone else, Kornfield says, we would be angry at the constant stream of negativity. But we do it to ourselves!

Kornfield is not advising us to try to banish habitual, unconstructive thoughts from our minds. It’s impossible. Rather, awareness is the goal. When we observe our thoughts with compassion and a little distance, we don’t get caught up in them. We no longer believe everything we think.

Kornfield is not putting down the brain; it is a very important tool. But unless observed consciously, the brain does not serve us well. As one of Kornfield’s teachers put it, “thoughts make a good servant but a poor master.”

The development of mindfulness requires effort–the kind of effort that is gentle, not harshly judgmental. When we observe our thoughts without judgment, explains Kornfield, we more deeply accept ourselves.

For example, I may notice in a group that I yearn for recognition, or I might see that I’m trying to persuade myself that I was right and my colleague was wrong, or I might observe that I am anxiously wondering whether I can complete all I want to get done today.

With mindfulness, I can gently remind myself, “Oh, there I am, wanting to see myself as special,” or “Yes, I have a hard time accepting myself when I screw up,” or “Sometimes I really believe that my worth depends on my accomplishments.”

By observing such thoughts, and countless others, with compassion and acceptance, rather than with frustration or irritation, we treat ourselves with love. And of course the more we treat ourselves with love and kindness, the more we naturally extend such treatment to others.

Acceptance of ourselves, Kornfield explains, does not mean we don’t try to improve ourselves. In fact, the first step toward positive change is clearly seeing and accepting aspects of ourselves that we dislike. Feelings of hatred and shame do not produce positive change. In fact, they can get in the way of real change.

The self-acceptance that grows as mindfulness develops extends to emotions, as well as to thoughts. When we are angry, afraid, grieving, or depressed, mindfulness means that we do not resist our feelings. Instead, we fully feel them, with awareness. While we may want to turn away from uncomfortable feelings, resistance only intensifies their hold over us. But when we let in each feeling, fully, with awareness, we can watch each one arise and then pass away. We experience all of our feelings, but we are not in their grip.

For example, when we observe our anger mindfully, we admit the fullness of the feeling. But we do not mindlessly lash out. The situation may, in fact, call for an angry response, but when mindfulness is present, our expression of anger is likely to be constructive, not harmful.

When we think and feel with awareness, Kornfield explains, we observe and accept all that is within us. And with such acceptance comes equanimity and happiness—equanimity because we are not fighting inside, happiness because we are experiencing life fully in each moment.

Kornfield presents mindfulness in terms anyone can understand. He makes it tangible and provides exercises that can help us develop mindfulness in our own lives.

Try it. You just may find that it works.

My thanks to April Moore for her contribution of this book review. April is a gifted writer, a committed environmentalist, and creator of TheEarthConnection.org, a website to nourish and inspire people who love nature. Click here to see an earlier post about April. Please share your own thoughts about this book or its subject matter in the Comments section below. EHC

Click Here to purchase The Wise Heart from Amazon.com

BOOK REVIEW: A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World by Paul E. Miller

I wish I had read this book 30 years ago so that by now I would have re-read it several times. As faithful as I have tried to be to my spiritual habits, personal prayer has often eluded me and felt dry and mechanical. I’ve read books about it and talked to friends about it, but there was always a disconnect between the idea of prayer (and now I realize my misconceptions about prayer) and the reality of a regular prayer life. Paul Miller’s gift in this book is to bring prayer into the realm of a real person’s real life by lifting the burden of legalism and formulas and the notion that there’s a right way to pray and a wrong way to pray. That’s like telling a child he can only talk to his parent in one way or the parent will ignore him!

Here are some of my take-aways from this book:

1. I need to talk to God in the same way and with the same attitude I would use in speaking to a trusted friend or loved one.
2. I need to stop worrying about whether I’ve carved out the proper prayer time or quiet time and just start talking to God whenever or wherever it occurs to me. “Prayer is meant to be the conversation where your life and your God meet.” “Talking life over with this on-scene God is the sort of conversation worth calling ‘prayer.’”
3. I need to stop categorizing the things that are worthy–or not worthy–of prayer and remember that God cares about every aspect of my life. If it matters to me, it matters to Him.
4. Meaningful prayer is not achieved by focusing on prayer itself but on God. “In prayer, focusing on the conversation is like trying to drive while looking at the windshield instead of through it.”
5. Prayer is not an isolated part of life. “Many people’s frustrations with prayer come from working on prayer as a discipline in the abstract.”
6. Prayer is not supposed to take us out of the world. Prayer is a tool for connecting with God in the midst of our life’s craziness. My favorite quote from the whole book is this: “Learning to pray doesn’t offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart. In the midst of outer busyness, we can develop an inner quiet.”

Now that is a goal worth praying for!

I read The Pursuit of God on my Kindle, and my 14 pages of highlights and notes are testament to the fact that I found it highly interesting and helpful in my understanding of how to have a personal relationship with a living God. According to the book description, Tozer was so inspired that he wrote the rough draft of this book in one all-night session while traveling by train from Chicago to Texas in the late 1940s. The bottom line idea that Tozer wishes to portray is that we must use the analogy of any personal relationship we wish to cultivate.

“We have almost forgotten that God is a Person and, as such, can be cultivated as any person can.” If we want to have a better relationship with a person, we don’t go out and read about it (the irony of this statement in a book review does not escape me)…or go to lectures about it…we spend time with that person and try to find out what makes them tick. The entire book is exploring the challenges of doing this with a higher power we can’t see.

He does not shirk the challenges of this or the inevitability of doubts, fears, and digressions. This, to me, made the book more authentic. “Whoever will listen will hear the speaking of Heaven…Believing, then, is directing the heart’s attention to Jesus.”

The only reason I gave it four stars instead of five is because its language–probably by virtue of its having been written in the 1940s–was a bit stilted at times. There were also a few times when I thought he crossed the line into preaching instead of sharing, and also making assumptions about his readers and what they already accept or believe that might not be true. In other words, he occasionally asked me to take a leap of faith I wasn’t ready to take.

One of the things I most enjoyed was the prayer at the end of each chapter. In spite of language, these felt very contemporary to me, and resonated with thoughts and feelings that I struggle with in my own prayer life and spiritual journey.

If you have a Kindle, download a sample and see if it seems appealing to you. If you’re looking at a hard copy in a bookstore, the Introduction and Preface will give you a good feel for it.