Do you write letters and notes to your children?
I didn’t do it as much as I should have, but I was inspired by an article called “The Talk” by Glennon Melton in the Huffington Post. Melton has “The Talk” with her children every year as they are starting school, and she shared the one she had with her son entering third grade. “The Talk” could very well be done as a letter written to your child, something they can treasure and read again in the future.
I hope you’ll read the whole article about what she says to her son, but two parts especially moved me. The first was telling him about a boy named Adam who had been in her own elementary school class, a boy who was different and unpopular. As she reminisced about this, she said:
I think that God puts people in our lives as gifts to us. The children in your class this year, they are some of God’s gifts to you.
So please treat each one like a gift from God. Every single one.
The second very moving message to her son Chase is one we should tell our children regardless of their age:
Chase — We do not care if you are the smartest or fastest or coolest or funniest. There will be lots of contests at school, and we don’t care if you win a single one of them. We don’t care if you get straight As. We don’t care if the girls think you’re cute or whether you’re picked first or last for kickball at recess. We don’t care if you are your teacher’s favorite or not. We don’t care if you have the best clothes or most Pokemon cards or coolest gadgets. We just don’t care.
We don’t send you to school to become the best at anything at all. We already love you as much as we possibly could. You do not have to earn our love or pride and you can’t lose it. That’s done.
We send you to school to practice being brave and kind.
If you have children (or grandchildren or nieces or nephews or friends) still in school, even if they are still very young, write them a letter about the things you want them to know.
They might not figure it out on their own…or it might take them a lot longer without your help.
Go. Now. Get that pen and paper. And write…
Photo credit: “Charlotte and her bear” by Marinka van Holten, Utrecht, Netherlands via StockXChng
Denise says
…to practice being brave and kind….
I just love that! My kids are grown and gone, but I will make a note to self for future grandkids!
Elizabeth Cottrell says
Thanks for commenting, Denise. Yes, I’m in the same boat–kids out of the nest and no grandkids yet, but hopefully our time will come :-).
You are doing some brave and important work at your blog, Denise (http://inspired2ignite.com/).Sharing your own past challenges to help others heal is so inspiring!
Denise says
When our time comes, I hope I remember half of what I think I’ve learned to do better ‘next time’. 😉
Thank you so much for your encouragement and mentioning my blog! That’s so sweet of you…I appreciate it very much.
I’ve visited your site numerous times and have found it to be very inspiring as well.
Elizabeth Cottrell says
I’m so happy you’ve found something of value here. I haven’t done what the experts say you should do and target a certain audience. I just speak from my heart and trust that the words get in front of those who need them. I guess I’ll never get rich that way, but it sure feels like what I’m supposed to be doing right now.
Mimi Meredith says
Oh Elizabeth. That line…practice being brave and kind…just absolutely hit my heart! I had an immediate lump in my throat. I love this woman! And you, my friend…I love you. Thank you for helping me to be brave and to be kind.
Elizabeth Cottrell says
Oh Mimi, you were brave and kind long before we became friends (I sound like the Wizard of Oz when he was talking to the Cowardly Lion), but isn’t this how we all get by? When life is beating us up, there’s usually someone who loves us there loaning us their strength until we can find our own.
You paid your kindness and bravery forward for so long, I hope you’ve gotten some of it back in recent times! 🙂
Karen S. Elliott says
Being kind to others. Being brave. Yes, great advice. The pressures of school and school friends and popularity – what a quagmire! Even in grade school. I have grandsons in 1st grade and kindergarten – so far, so good!
Elizabeth Cottrell says
I’ll bet you are an awesome grandmother, Karen! I know how fiercely you love your family. Thanks so much for visiting and commenting!
Karen S. Elliott says
I am! The grandsons call me Mo-Mo. I am also known in rapper circles as Ram-Mo and Mo-I-Am. 🙂 I hope I can help them, listen, be there for them while navigating the school years.