This is a guest post from Connection Messenger Sarah Anma. I am grateful for her wisdom in helping her readers and clients make important life connections in a meaningful way. This is a thought-provoking piece that will help you get in touch with your own giving motives, whether your gift is a physical one or a gift of time, talent, or love. Share comments below on your own experience or perspective about giving with — or without — strings attached.     Elizabeth 


Giving without Expectation  by Sarah Anma

One of the things that is a lifelong lesson for so many of us is how to give without expectation of:

1.     Reward

2.     Reciprication

3.     Acknowledgement

When we reside in any of those energies, we are not actually giving but we are expecting a business arrangement.

We have been taught, “I scratch your back, you scratch mine” as a the way relationships go.  When we have expectation, we lack commitment and have drifted into the realm of convenience.

Anytime we commit to something, we give up a little bit of our ego, our self-importance, or our rules.

When we can release a little bit of ourselves for the good of the partnership, we have created an energy of willingness to release the Earthly for the sake of a more Heavenly experience.

The trouble is, we have mistaken martyrdom for actual contribution.  We have been trained to run ourselves ragged and then we are driven to the manipulation of phony self-sacrifice.

From the outside, it may even look similar.  However, we must check our motives.  When we are giving in order to get attention, affection, approval, etc. then we are in a manipulative mode.

When we give simply to give, our energy is charged.  We feel connected regardless of the other person’s response.  We have contributed without concern for gain.  That is divine love.

A great way to express this divine love is to do something really generous (at a cost to your time, money, or energy) anonymously.

Your Assignment: You can change the world with simple anonymous acts.  Can you shift the waitress’ hard day into a sweet one through an outrageously generous tip?  How about pay the toll for the car behind you?  Can you iron your sweeties clothes without letting her know?


Photo Credit: Jason M. via


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Sarah Anma

Sarah Anma, Relationship Mentor, is founder ofArt of Relationship which provides a proven step-by-step system for optimum relationships.  She helps frustrated singles figure and loving and committed couples to create and grow the love life beyond their wildest dreams.  To get your free CD, “How to Attract and Grow the Love of Your Life,” and receive weekly tips and tools visit


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